Green Heads [BEDA #5]

I mentioned in an earlier blog post that I'm currently completing a Certificate IV in Youth Work. Sometime last month at lectures we did a little exercise which they suggested we can use with the teenagers and children we work with.

The lecturer had cut out a bunch of photos from National Geographic magazines and laminated them. There were all these different pictures, some of animals, some of man-made objects, some natural structures, a whole range of seemingly random things. The lecturer then asked us which photograph we related to the most. I actually found this to be quite an easy exercise, while others found it really difficult.

The picture I chose was a photograph of some ducks flying off. What I noticed about this picture was that there were about four or five ducks, all but one with a green head. We were asked to share with the group our choice and why we chose it. I told them about how I considered myself to be the duck with the normal head. How often I can see the good traits in other people but never in myself. Everyone is embellished with this beautiful green head except me.

(As a side note, I also chose a second picture. It was a picture of a cheetah hiding behind a few leaves and all you could see of it was its eye. We did this exercise the week after I shaved my head. I explained how I felt a bit vulnerable and open because I would always use my hair to hide my face. I felt as if I was the cheetah but all the trees had been cut down and I was just sitting there in the open. I was met with a lot of "that's deep" comments.)

Last year, the young adult community in my church did a series on the Five Love Languages, which is basically a theory that everyone primarily shares one of these five ways which is how they show love to others. My love language is 'words of affirmation', so when people tell me I'm doing a good job or that I'm valued, I feel loved. It's also how I show others love, I compliment them. If I see talent in someone, I often try to make a point of letting them know I think they're talented in that area. I don't know if they pick up on it or not. However, I never really hear these things back. Or maybe I just don't pick up on them. No matter what it is, it's led to me not knowing what my talents are.

Sure, I'm good at a few things. I can acknowledge that. But I can't find anything I'm great at. Something that I'm passionate about and am dedicated to practicing, rising above everyone else. That thing which people come to me for because they know I'll do the best job and can't resort to second best. My green head.

I guess life is just a journey, and a green head is just a goal. Maybe we can never achieve our green head, because no matter what you do, there's always someone better at it. And maybe once I'm on my deathbed, I'll discover what my green head was and realise I was doing it the entire time.