GMH

I've always had friend issues. I'm the kinda person who constantly worries about things like if his friends actually like him, actually care for him, actually want to know me and want to hang around me. I'm paranoid that my friends aren't actually my friends, I worry that I force myself on people and that I'm only invited to things if I'm within earshot of people at the time they were organising it. Basically, as I said in the first sentence, I have friend issues.

I think it's because I wouldn't want to be my friend. Although I try my hardest to be friendly, to have fun and to really put effort into my friendships, I don't feel as if I've got anything to offer them. I'm quite picky with my friends too, I surround myself with people who are determined, driven, confident and generally pretty happy and fun. Most of these things I'm not. And although I try and use them to bring me up, most of the time I feel as if I'm bringing them down.

I have many groups of friends: church, course, online, etc. I have friend issues with people in all these groups, for different reasons. But there's one group who prove to me over and over again that they actually want to be my friends. That's my high school friends.

Today it was about 9:30am and I was just lying in bed awake. I got a phone call from a friend and it went like this

"Hey bud"
"Get out of bed, you're coming to the beach."
"...But I'm in bed."
"I don't care, you're coming to the beach."
"You don't understand, I'm in bed."
"Look. We'll be at your house in ten minutes. If you're not on your doorstep in boardies at that time, we're pulling you out of bed."

And he hung up.

This single conversation pretty much epitomises friendship for me. He called me, invited me out, knew what I was doing before I told him, so many things which made me know that I was valued. This isn't the only thing, my high school friends are virtually the only people who invite me out to things, who I do things on a regular basis with, who I feel actually want me as a friend. There are exceptions in the other groups, people who I feel value me, but for the most part I miss this feeling in other groups.

I wonder what it is. Is it the fact I was there from the very beginning with the formation of high school friendship group, whereas I've joined other groups? Nah I was there at the formation of YMIS group, and I've been at the church for quite a while. There's always the Christian factor. As much as I don't like to admit it, some of the most judgmental people I know are Christians. Even though we're called not to be. It's funny, we're all accepting of those in other Social classes, such as the disabled or at-risk or unfortunate. But when it comes to people in our OWN social class, Christians hold no reservations in judging people it seems.

So basically, my high school friends Give Me Hope.

Anberlin

So tomorrow I'm seeing Anberlin. I am so mega-excited.

When I saw the Killers I like did this thing of my expectations of what they're going to play and stuff. I'm doing the same here, see how close I get.

These songs they'll definitely play:
Paperthin Hymn
Godspeed
Feel Good Drag
Never Take Friendship Personal
Adelaide
Breaking
Change the World

These songs they better play or I'm gonna kill a baby:
A Day Late
Dismantle. Repair.
Time & Confusion
Hello Alone
Glass to the Arson
The Resistance
Stationary Stationery (My favourite Anberlin song)
Disappear
Blame Me! Blame Me!
A Whisper & A Clamor

These songs if they play I'll be so happy but I'm not particularly expecting them to:
Audrey, Start the Revolution!
Haight Street
Dance, Dance, Christa Paffgen
Cadence
Soft Skeletons
Naive Orleans
The Runaways
The 16 bit remix of Glass to the Arson. =P


Make sure I update with the set so I can forever remember it. <3

Introduction

Boy: I wish there was a way I could express it.
Girl: What do you mean?
Boy: Well actually, there is one way.
Girl: What?
Boy: You'd hate me for it.
Girl: Tell me.
Boy: No.
Girl: Tell me.
Boy: No.
Girl: Tell me.
Boy: No, I'd regret it forever.
Girl: What is it?
Boy: You don't want to know.
Girl: Yes I do.
Boy: Why?
Girl: Because I think I want to do it too.
Boy: What?
Girl: Assuming we're thinking of the same thing.
Boy: Which is?
Girl: No.
Boy: Tell me.
Girl: No.
Boy: Tell me.
Girl: You tell me.
Boy: Fine, I want to kiss you.
Girl: Do it.
Boy: No.
Girl: I dare you.
Boy: No.
Girl: Why not?
Boy: I'd regret it.
Girl: No you wouldn't.
Boy: Shut up. You'd regret it.
Girl: No I wouldn't.
Boy: Yes you would, I know you would.
Girl: I'd regret it more if we didn't.
Boy: You're not making this easy for me.
Girl: I thought I was taking a rather direct route actually.
Boy: You are, but you're making it awkward.
Girl: Am I?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Really? Because if we had it my way it would all be over and done with by now.
Boy: Yes, but I get to savour the moment with my way.
Girl: Would you hurry up and kiss me already?
Boy: Fine. No tongue.
Girl: No tongue.

Contender

Today was a contender for the "Best Day of My Life" competition I run with myself. Other finalists include my first day in Disneyland, the day I saw the Killers, the day I arrived in Sydney for AusOne and my year 12 formal night. And nothing big happened today, it's just everything I'd want in a normal month rolled into 24 hours. It was seriously amazing.

So as the day started at midnight, I'll start it from there. I hadn't gone to sleep yet but five of my friends were over and we were playing Warcraft 3: Frozen Throne. I have lots of fun at LAN parties and that finished at about 3am when I went to sleep.

I woke up at 10 and went to a friend's house, where we chilled for an hour then headed to the cinemas. We sang along to Relient K loudly in the car. We had car-races through David Jones. We had KFC for lunch. The movie we saw was The Ugly Truth, which I enjoyed so much. I laughed and smiled a lot and it put me in a really good mood.

I came home for a little, had a few quick chats with some online friends before having to duck out again. I went to see a play my friend was in. It was an adaptation of To Kill a Mockingbird, in which my friend played Mayella Violet Ewell. She did an amazing job and I really enjoyed all the plays that they had.

Also, while at the school, I got recognised. I'm actually not embarrassed when this happens, in fact I love it. I was recognised by liv (http://youtube.com/livontoast). We're friendly with each other, but never really had the chance to talk at all. I want this to change. Anyway we only talked for quite literally a minute or two, I think she was expecting to be picked up from school at any second. =P This put me in a wonderful mood.

After the plays I went straight to the snooker bar where I played pool with a few friends. And to make it even better, I made new friends! That really, really makes my day so incredible. Afterward we all went to Maccas and just chatted. And even though my 'new friends' managed to find out about my YouTube ongoings within a few hours of meeting me, I had so much fun here. One of the girls is also a huge Harry Potter fanatic like me, so we spent most of the time fangirling over that.

And now I'm home. Maybe that doesn't seem like such an amazing day to you, but I tell you that I'm currently in the best mood I've been in for a very long time. This day has been magical. :)