I have this obnoxious, huge-ass pimple on my lip. It's really quite icky and central and ON MY FACE.
I normally go through a series of views on such things.
Pessimistic: Oh my golly gosh, that thing is HUGE! What's it doing there? It's really quite ugly and disgusting. Ugh, I can't believe I'm stilling getting acne. What's with me? Why does my life suck 3000x more than anyone else's ever could? I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want anyone to see me. I'm gonna stay at home in my cave-resembling room and hide there for a few days until it disappears. I want to die. Life sucks.
Optimistic: Well, it's not that bad. I mean, it's only one pimple. Life goes on. I don't have a perfect face which it is contaminating. Why am I being so shallow anyway? People don't care that I have a pimple on my face, everyone's probably experienced it before. Anyway, it's not like you have a girlfriend or anything who would care about it.
Realistic: You couldn't get a girlfriend if you tried, pimple or not.
Pessimistic: Life sucks.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Not Late and Jars. [BEDA #7]
It's 12:38AM on the 8th. But I haven't gone to sleep yet, so I don't think that counts as missing a day. I had every intent of blogging before going to sleep. It's still day 7 of April for me. It's the 7th in America still. I could go on forever about why this isn't late, but we all know that it's nearly an hour late. I'm sorry, but I'm not.
So right now I'm really digging Jars of Clay. I've dugged them (what?) for a while now, but I go through phases of my few favourite bands. For the past month it's been the Killers pretty non-stop, but tonight it's by far the Jars of Clizzle. They have a new album coming out in 2 weeks and I'm gonna buy it like the day it comes out. If it's released over here at the same time. I'll ring Word or Koorong about it soon.
Me and a friend are discussing the lyrics to the song Good Monsters. This has been one of my favourites recently, mainly because I began listening to what it said. It's all about how we have the power to be destructive and do wrong, but some of us choose not to. We're the Good Monsters, who have the power to do evil but don't. So basically it's about being meek. Not all monsters are bad, but the ones who are good never do what they could.
Currently the song I have on repeat is This Road. It is a beautifully crafted song, very poetic and submitting to God. It's also very humble, which I find in mostly every song by Jars of Clay.
All heavy laden, acquainted with sorrow
May Christ in our marrow carry us home.
From alabaster come blessings of laughter
A fragrance of passion and joy from the truth
Grant the unbroken tears ever flowing
From hearts of contrition only for You
May sin never hold true that love never broke through
For God's mercy holds us and we are His own
This road that we travel, may it be the straight and narrow
God give us peace and grace from You, all the day
Shelter with fire, our voices we raise still higher
God give us peace and grace from You, all the day through
So right now I'm really digging Jars of Clay. I've dugged them (what?) for a while now, but I go through phases of my few favourite bands. For the past month it's been the Killers pretty non-stop, but tonight it's by far the Jars of Clizzle. They have a new album coming out in 2 weeks and I'm gonna buy it like the day it comes out. If it's released over here at the same time. I'll ring Word or Koorong about it soon.
Me and a friend are discussing the lyrics to the song Good Monsters. This has been one of my favourites recently, mainly because I began listening to what it said. It's all about how we have the power to be destructive and do wrong, but some of us choose not to. We're the Good Monsters, who have the power to do evil but don't. So basically it's about being meek. Not all monsters are bad, but the ones who are good never do what they could.
Currently the song I have on repeat is This Road. It is a beautifully crafted song, very poetic and submitting to God. It's also very humble, which I find in mostly every song by Jars of Clay.
All heavy laden, acquainted with sorrow
May Christ in our marrow carry us home.
From alabaster come blessings of laughter
A fragrance of passion and joy from the truth
Grant the unbroken tears ever flowing
From hearts of contrition only for You
May sin never hold true that love never broke through
For God's mercy holds us and we are His own
This road that we travel, may it be the straight and narrow
God give us peace and grace from You, all the day
Shelter with fire, our voices we raise still higher
God give us peace and grace from You, all the day through
Monday, April 6, 2009
(Baby I've Got You) On My Mind [BEDA #6]
Yes that is a Powderfinger reference in the title. Good job on picking it up. Honey you won't ever know...
I have a friend. I know it's surprising, but it's just one. What's truly remarkable is that she's girl. Even more so, she's a cool girl. That's pretty much unheard of.
Anyway, Shawna posted 50 things pressing on her mind lately. I like. I copy.
50 Things On My Mind Recently:
I have a friend. I know it's surprising, but it's just one. What's truly remarkable is that she's girl. Even more so, she's a cool girl. That's pretty much unheard of.
Anyway, Shawna posted 50 things pressing on her mind lately. I like. I copy.
50 Things On My Mind Recently:
- Shawna is a really cool cat and I have no idea how I was ever lucky enough to wind up being her friend.
- I need to learn some responsibility, especially when it comes to spending (or saving) money.
- Ever since becoming a YouTube partner, I haven't had the motivation to make a video. My goal has been accomplished, what now?
- Part of the reason I haven't made a video is also because there are two people who live with me who never leave the house, and I only film with an empty house.
- I really hope Ralph gets better soon, it's actually hard not having him around.
- I should start my 2nd lot of cluster work soon.
- It's so hard trying to prioritise things in life. I fail at it.
- I guess it's alright having my sister's boyfriend living with us. The company is okay and my sister has been on her good behaviour for him.
- I'm really looking forward to Jars of Clay's new album, The Long Fall Back To Earth.
- I haven't been getting enough sleep recently, and it's beginning to catch up on me.
- I really hope I get my $900 from K-Rudd, but I don't think I will.
- Matthew 5:28, it's just difficult to deal with.
- I'm falling behind with my work on Winter Camp, should probably catch up on me.
- Do my friends think I'm really irresponsible? If they don't, why not?
- I need to beat this level in Elite Beat Agents before I kill a puppy.
- I can't take a photo on dailybooth every day, I'm not that good looking or shameless or committed.
- I want to go on another weekend holiday like we did last year down to Evans Head.
- I really want to learn Japanese.
- I'm quite tired at this moment. Feel as if I could fall asleep any second.
- If I accidentally fall asleep while blogging and go past midnight, does this mean I skipped a day on BEDA?
- Yep, just happened. Hello three hours later.
- Pretty glad I didn't sleep over midnight!
- Pretty annoyed I missed Good Game, Triple J TV, etc. while sleeping. Not happy Jan.
- I need to finish reading the 6th Harry Potter book before the movie comes out this year.
- Wait, I need to start it.
- I also need to finish Final Fantasy IV so I can start TA2.
- There's a new FF Tactics Advance game coming out as Wiiware which is in the style of those tower defense games. Totally looking forward to it.
- I knew this was going to be hard for me when I started the list, but I'm halfway and struggling. Brilliant.
- I need more hours at work. Or at least, the ability to save money.
- Looking at this list, I need a lot of things. I'm so needy.
- I want a girlfriend. Or at least, I want a girl I can secretly crush over and she never has to know.
- I'm glad I've been catching up with my high school friends recently. I've missed them.
- It sucks having 95% of your friends from the church. But at the same time, it's alright.
- I'm really falling behind with my bible reading plan.
- W/hy isn't Google or Twitter working?
- One day I'll clean my room, maybe.
- Rob's awesome Venn diagram abilities.
- I want dinner.
- The Humphrey B Bear theme song is circulating in my head.
- I hate Rob for the reason mentioned above.
- I really like the Killers.
- I still want dinner. I'm actually gonna go and get it.
- You can probably tell, but I'm really struggling with ideas.
- I have to be up early in the morning. Good thing I napped for a few hours before.
- My kitten is so much fun to play with. =D
- I pretty much live off 2 minute noodles.
- I need a healthier lifestyle.
- I should work out sometime. Wii Fit or treadmill?
- This guy on tv is a really bad actor. I think he's meant to be gay, but he actually bares an uncanny resemblence to Nemesis from MetroMan.
- I'm so glad this is over.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Green Heads [BEDA #5]
I mentioned in an earlier blog post that I'm currently completing a Certificate IV in Youth Work. Sometime last month at lectures we did a little exercise which they suggested we can use with the teenagers and children we work with.
The lecturer had cut out a bunch of photos from National Geographic magazines and laminated them. There were all these different pictures, some of animals, some of man-made objects, some natural structures, a whole range of seemingly random things. The lecturer then asked us which photograph we related to the most. I actually found this to be quite an easy exercise, while others found it really difficult.
The picture I chose was a photograph of some ducks flying off. What I noticed about this picture was that there were about four or five ducks, all but one with a green head. We were asked to share with the group our choice and why we chose it. I told them about how I considered myself to be the duck with the normal head. How often I can see the good traits in other people but never in myself. Everyone is embellished with this beautiful green head except me.
(As a side note, I also chose a second picture. It was a picture of a cheetah hiding behind a few leaves and all you could see of it was its eye. We did this exercise the week after I shaved my head. I explained how I felt a bit vulnerable and open because I would always use my hair to hide my face. I felt as if I was the cheetah but all the trees had been cut down and I was just sitting there in the open. I was met with a lot of "that's deep" comments.)
Last year, the young adult community in my church did a series on the Five Love Languages, which is basically a theory that everyone primarily shares one of these five ways which is how they show love to others. My love language is 'words of affirmation', so when people tell me I'm doing a good job or that I'm valued, I feel loved. It's also how I show others love, I compliment them. If I see talent in someone, I often try to make a point of letting them know I think they're talented in that area. I don't know if they pick up on it or not. However, I never really hear these things back. Or maybe I just don't pick up on them. No matter what it is, it's led to me not knowing what my talents are.
Sure, I'm good at a few things. I can acknowledge that. But I can't find anything I'm great at. Something that I'm passionate about and am dedicated to practicing, rising above everyone else. That thing which people come to me for because they know I'll do the best job and can't resort to second best. My green head.
I guess life is just a journey, and a green head is just a goal. Maybe we can never achieve our green head, because no matter what you do, there's always someone better at it. And maybe once I'm on my deathbed, I'll discover what my green head was and realise I was doing it the entire time.
The lecturer had cut out a bunch of photos from National Geographic magazines and laminated them. There were all these different pictures, some of animals, some of man-made objects, some natural structures, a whole range of seemingly random things. The lecturer then asked us which photograph we related to the most. I actually found this to be quite an easy exercise, while others found it really difficult.
The picture I chose was a photograph of some ducks flying off. What I noticed about this picture was that there were about four or five ducks, all but one with a green head. We were asked to share with the group our choice and why we chose it. I told them about how I considered myself to be the duck with the normal head. How often I can see the good traits in other people but never in myself. Everyone is embellished with this beautiful green head except me.
(As a side note, I also chose a second picture. It was a picture of a cheetah hiding behind a few leaves and all you could see of it was its eye. We did this exercise the week after I shaved my head. I explained how I felt a bit vulnerable and open because I would always use my hair to hide my face. I felt as if I was the cheetah but all the trees had been cut down and I was just sitting there in the open. I was met with a lot of "that's deep" comments.)
Last year, the young adult community in my church did a series on the Five Love Languages, which is basically a theory that everyone primarily shares one of these five ways which is how they show love to others. My love language is 'words of affirmation', so when people tell me I'm doing a good job or that I'm valued, I feel loved. It's also how I show others love, I compliment them. If I see talent in someone, I often try to make a point of letting them know I think they're talented in that area. I don't know if they pick up on it or not. However, I never really hear these things back. Or maybe I just don't pick up on them. No matter what it is, it's led to me not knowing what my talents are.
Sure, I'm good at a few things. I can acknowledge that. But I can't find anything I'm great at. Something that I'm passionate about and am dedicated to practicing, rising above everyone else. That thing which people come to me for because they know I'll do the best job and can't resort to second best. My green head.
I guess life is just a journey, and a green head is just a goal. Maybe we can never achieve our green head, because no matter what you do, there's always someone better at it. And maybe once I'm on my deathbed, I'll discover what my green head was and realise I was doing it the entire time.
Fingernail Paint [BEDA #4]
Life, when broken down and spread out in front of you, can easily be compared with the act of painting one's nails.
On a large scale, life is like the unpainted nails. People exist and they're just there. They're just a presence, company. You see hundreds of people in the shopping mall and know not one thing about most of them; they're just people. In your life story, they have no role. Even though they have their own story, it means nothing to you. They are blank fingernails.
Then there are the painted fingernails, who are your friends. They are the colour and brightness in your life. They make your life interesting and un-blank. They share a story with you, and they've made some little mark in your life, even if it is a prettying up of the fingernails.
The people you know in your life define who you are. Friends are the finishing touches to your life, the fingernail paint of life.
On a large scale, life is like the unpainted nails. People exist and they're just there. They're just a presence, company. You see hundreds of people in the shopping mall and know not one thing about most of them; they're just people. In your life story, they have no role. Even though they have their own story, it means nothing to you. They are blank fingernails.
Then there are the painted fingernails, who are your friends. They are the colour and brightness in your life. They make your life interesting and un-blank. They share a story with you, and they've made some little mark in your life, even if it is a prettying up of the fingernails.
The people you know in your life define who you are. Friends are the finishing touches to your life, the fingernail paint of life.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Pretty Girls, The Sequel: Unpretty Girls. [BEDA #3]
I'm really tired, but I have to blog. BEDA is going to be the end of me. Possibly.
So a few days ago a few people whose blogs I read (namely Hayley Gee and Rohan) posted a list of things which they find attractive and unattractive in the guys and girls (respectively). This is funny because just the day before, I posted a list of really small, petty things which I find pretty in girls. That post was basically just pointing out all the small, weird things which make my heart beat a little faster. But I didn't post the things that I find unattractive. So here we go.
Girls are unpretty:
when they swear. (Honestly, I want to unfollow certain girls on twitter because of their fowl language. Completely turns me off and make me not even want to know her.)
when they smoke. (I will never ever date a smoker. This rule is carved in stone.)
when they do any sort of drug.
when they don't look after themself. (Includes generally being healthy)
when they don't have any direction with their life.
when they have no confidence or self-esteem in themself.
when they are over-confident in themself.
when they wear exhibitionist clothes. By that I mean clothes that are screaming for me to look at the girl sinfully. Seriously girls, dress modestly and you won't have boys staring at your chest. If you don't show us anything we can't be tempted. So please stop tempting us, it's annoying.
There's way more than that, but as I said I'm tired which means I can't think very well. So I'll end it here. Also, I have 8 minutes to publish this blog before the day is over. Better do that right now.
So a few days ago a few people whose blogs I read (namely Hayley Gee and Rohan) posted a list of things which they find attractive and unattractive in the guys and girls (respectively). This is funny because just the day before, I posted a list of really small, petty things which I find pretty in girls. That post was basically just pointing out all the small, weird things which make my heart beat a little faster. But I didn't post the things that I find unattractive. So here we go.
Girls are unpretty:
when they swear. (Honestly, I want to unfollow certain girls on twitter because of their fowl language. Completely turns me off and make me not even want to know her.)
when they smoke. (I will never ever date a smoker. This rule is carved in stone.)
when they do any sort of drug.
when they don't look after themself. (Includes generally being healthy)
when they don't have any direction with their life.
when they have no confidence or self-esteem in themself.
when they are over-confident in themself.
when they wear exhibitionist clothes. By that I mean clothes that are screaming for me to look at the girl sinfully. Seriously girls, dress modestly and you won't have boys staring at your chest. If you don't show us anything we can't be tempted. So please stop tempting us, it's annoying.
There's way more than that, but as I said I'm tired which means I can't think very well. So I'll end it here. Also, I have 8 minutes to publish this blog before the day is over. Better do that right now.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Re-introduction. [BEDA #2]
It's occurred to me that you guys probably don't know too much about me. If you watch me on YouTube, you get small snippets of whats happening in my life but that's about it. If you follow me on Twitter, you'd know a bit about what I like. But I've never really introduced myself to you, everyone has tagged along with me on this journey (being an online identity) part of the way through. No one has really been there from the start, so what better way to start of BEDA than with me introducing myself.
Hi, my name is Mathew. I am 18 years old and live on the Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia. I am currently completing a Certificate IV in Youth Work, and work at my local church as a youth intern. I am a Christian and love the Lord Jesus Christ.
I grew up wanting to be a doctor. You know, the work in a hospital and heal the sick peoples sort of doctor. However, last year I was metaphorically slapped in the face with a reality check and realised that it was not for me. Right now I'm not sure what I want to do with my life, but I do have a passion for teenage kids and seeing their lives turned around. So I'd like to do something in that area. I spent a year at uni last year, I've deferred this year, but I plan to go back next year.
One of my main hobbies is playing video games, in particular Final Fantasy. Favourite FF game is VIII, but I also really like X, IV and VII. This is quite an expensive hobby so recently I haven't been doing so much of it. This decline in gaming has made me realise that having friends is cool so I do that a lot more now.
I also enjoy listening to music. Lyrics can speak to me in quite a profound way I find, whether they give light to a situation, properly explain something which I'm having troubles expressing, viewing something in a new light. Also I just love it when a song tells a good story. My favourite band is the Killers, and it's mainly because of that last point. Brandon Flowers is a master story-teller and can just link the sounds of the instruments to the words of the song and it's just beautiful. Other bands I like include Relient K, Anberlin and Jars of Clay, all for the other reasons.
Another small hobby is video making. I'm not good at it, but it's something I enjoy. In primary school I realised I had a little creative seed in me and used to put it to good use. However it's since been buried and I'm trying to find it again. I like making videos because it's a way to find the creativity deep within me. One day I'll find it again.
I'm a bit of an odd person to talk to, but I'm also sorta nice and sweet.
That's about all, I'll talk to you tomorrow. <3
Hi, my name is Mathew. I am 18 years old and live on the Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia. I am currently completing a Certificate IV in Youth Work, and work at my local church as a youth intern. I am a Christian and love the Lord Jesus Christ.
I grew up wanting to be a doctor. You know, the work in a hospital and heal the sick peoples sort of doctor. However, last year I was metaphorically slapped in the face with a reality check and realised that it was not for me. Right now I'm not sure what I want to do with my life, but I do have a passion for teenage kids and seeing their lives turned around. So I'd like to do something in that area. I spent a year at uni last year, I've deferred this year, but I plan to go back next year.
One of my main hobbies is playing video games, in particular Final Fantasy. Favourite FF game is VIII, but I also really like X, IV and VII. This is quite an expensive hobby so recently I haven't been doing so much of it. This decline in gaming has made me realise that having friends is cool so I do that a lot more now.
I also enjoy listening to music. Lyrics can speak to me in quite a profound way I find, whether they give light to a situation, properly explain something which I'm having troubles expressing, viewing something in a new light. Also I just love it when a song tells a good story. My favourite band is the Killers, and it's mainly because of that last point. Brandon Flowers is a master story-teller and can just link the sounds of the instruments to the words of the song and it's just beautiful. Other bands I like include Relient K, Anberlin and Jars of Clay, all for the other reasons.
Another small hobby is video making. I'm not good at it, but it's something I enjoy. In primary school I realised I had a little creative seed in me and used to put it to good use. However it's since been buried and I'm trying to find it again. I like making videos because it's a way to find the creativity deep within me. One day I'll find it again.
I'm a bit of an odd person to talk to, but I'm also sorta nice and sweet.
That's about all, I'll talk to you tomorrow. <3
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